;

;
(for mosita, on her birthday)

in the beginning i would have used terms like, 'out of my league';
'too cool';
et. al.

but in subsequent years
especially the "misspent" ones in her tiny run down apartment;
off Placer;
drinking copious amounts of cheap beer;

smoking certain amounts of tobacco (me) and more (her);

it occurred to me, it wasn't a question of social standing but rather
a difference in the paradigms of our philosophies;
while her world was still available for exploration;

adventure;
wonder

;

mine had already become stagnant;

a place of certainty and absolute decision.

and so now, on the advent of her birthday;
i realize that she remains still in a place i will never understand;

in a world that is hers alone.
adventure.
wonder.